this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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