Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize