I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
