sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
