I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
