wrigley field is MILF paradise
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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