Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
