I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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