whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My pussy is not your playground.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
