I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
