it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
