Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
