She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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