Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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