i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
where are you?
Hypothermia
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
