Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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