dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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