Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize