you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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