walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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