Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I don't think brook has ever known best
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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