I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
