dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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