i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I enjoy the company of your penis
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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