It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
