she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
