OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
