In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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