yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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