Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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