I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize