question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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