his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
