I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
