I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
