i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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