It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
