you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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