remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
