i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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