I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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