if i can run in heels then i can drive
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
