you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
