I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
