i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
