So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
