I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
