i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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