take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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