Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
