he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
