and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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