Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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