Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
