apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
