Can i not drive my cunt home
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
