just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
