Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
