i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
