I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
