This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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