im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
