her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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