she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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