i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
