Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
