dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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