she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Acid is not a monday night drug
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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