Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
