I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
