i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
