Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I need water and some morals
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
