I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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