Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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