Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
