I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
