In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
