i jhust puked up my retainher.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
