none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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