im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
